wild_child_505

IF YOUR THINKER ISN'T AWAKE YET, THIS SHOULD HELP!!!



Test for Dementia
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?


Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.


Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?



You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.

Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.


Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.


Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

Fourth Question:


Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?


Answer: Nunu?


NO! Of course not.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again


Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?



He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

i'm not really in the mood to write right now... haha know the difference between the two right and write!
but i feel i have to tell you all of my first cell phone that i received on friday! i know, its exciting... and i haven't stopped playing with it since then.i cannot say my number here but if you're cool you'll ask me for it!

nothing's new, except my dad's cousin harvey died. it was really sad. i didn't really know him very well, but that kinda makes this all even more sad because he was such a nice guy and i didn't even know him. the funeral was this morning. i decided not to go, i really hate funerals. they make me more upset. he had a heart attack, which was really weird because he was skinny and really in shape. the parentals should be home soon from the funeral, they're bringing me a sandwich. after all, i've been fending for myself all day (well, since i woke up at noon) and it was very hard to make myself breakfast (of cereal and oj) but still. a girl needs lunch!

btw, i need pictures of everyone (well not the people i dont like, including mean people, ho-bag, gross people, ho-bag, obnoxious people, ho-bag, ugly people, ho-bag, annoying people, ho-bag... i think you get the point) for my phone's caller id. so everyone look spiffy tomorrow and tuesday or else ill have an extremely ugly picture of you to remember you by each time you call... now wouldnt that be fun?

i gotta go, emily is clinically insane (she is the one that doesnt know right from write) so i must talk to her before she starts talking to herself.

not much is new... but i feel obliged to write just because all of you are dependent on my really cool life. so i was thinking about what i was going to write and it hit me, i have no cute little jokes or funny monologues to write, so this is going to be a pretty freakin boring entry! but do not fret! i'll try to come up with something...

so today was activity day... had share. nothing interesting there... whoa but that rhymed... whoa thats so lame. and then i had bio and gym (i was a really good goalie in floor hockey... gotta thank steve for that!) and then the global quiz. god mrs devane is so wacked out on cocaine that she didnt even realize that the "quiz" she gave us was just a bogus name for a test. then was lunch... this was when things started to look up for my incredibly boring day. i had the most disgusting pizza i have ever seen... what possessed me to get it, i dont know. that could have been the most entertaining part of my day. well ok, so then im eating this narst pizza and i ask myself "why are you eating that crap?" so im like "i dont know" and i chuck it. tha was so greasy i could practically feel the pimples coming out all over my face. then i got a smoothie, it was pretty good, #10, not bad. all the while ho-bag is staring at me.. gr, i know im highly attractive but there's gotta be someplace else to look. but really, actually i should be more forgiving, at least for staring at me, because i am damn sexy... haha teeter teeter

4 mod visual was awesome as usual... well i played with my eraser and pretended to listen as mr forlini talked about a pinhole camera (basically a light in a cardboard box... definitely not interesting, at least not enough to hold onto my add attention) then was spanish which was fun cause me and kalyn just pretty much did nothing and had a laugh fest when the girl who sits next to me said something about a really hot guy to the teacher. i have a feeling we shall get along with this "ana" very nicely... plus there are dead bugs in the windowsill and kalyn wears cool gloves, which we talked about. if she ever didnt have the gloves, she'd die... her hands would shrivel up and then she'd die. plus we talked about the verb costar (to cost) and apparently you can only use it in the el and ellos form because you can not ask someone how much they cost... hmmm... (well only if you're a hooker, which curtis tried to imply so i said to kalyn "i'm selling my body... would you like to buy it?" haha maybe ill raise that money to go to college *yes i know, my mom goes to college!*!

then math which is always a good time... not really but i just played with my eraser, again.

so pretty much my life revolves around my kneaded eraser... wow im so super fantastically groovy (btw i went shopping for my hippie emsemble after school and im going to be the most off the hook hippie ever!)

i'm stooooooooned (not really, kalyn would tell me to shut up) heh heh... out, L

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.


MORAL:
Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies!

BODY MEETING
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?

The asshole is usually in charge.

Well, now I'm just going to rant like a raving lunatic! I am so pissed off I cannot even begin to explain...
First of all, tomorrow I have THREE TESTS and an INCLASS ESSAY that I have to write a huge outline for, in one night! That is so ridiculous! Plus, I'm not really prepared for one of the tests (math) and I have to study majorly tonight! Also, the inclass essay is on pretty much the major point of the whole book, yet we are not allowed to use our books in class tomorrow, so instead we have to write down like every good quote in the whole freaking book!

And to add even more reasons to make me pissy...
- I have confirmation tonight which is not only pointless, but time consuming
- and Ho-Bag is looking at me funny.

I am in a extremely bad mood... GR ARG!
<3 A VERY ANGRY LARA

just got back from the walk for breast cancer and took a shower. it felt very good b/c it was muy frio outside. it was very fun, it was me, emily, becky ashe, rachel thau, and rachel maller. we ate donuts, we walked and talked but w/e, not the point. i discovered today while walking that i have no control over my legs anymore (that could be dangerous for lesbians). have you ever noticed that if you're walking or doing something for a really long time you just forget that you're doing it and don't even notice anymore? well that's what happened today. we were on like the 3rd mile and i realized that i didnt even know i was walking anymore. when i tried to stop walking, i couldn't! it was beyond my ability, and i had no control over my body anymore. therefore: there are humongous aliens taking over my body and i have no way to stop them. i should try flushing them down the toilet or something.

tonight my family and emily's family are going out to dinner. i wonder where we're going... idk, but im gonna ride there on the side of emily's car.

i g2g, have places to go, ppl to see! well not really but im still in a good mood. no homework left to do and ho-bag is still pregnant as ever!

l8r, lara

so im at oriental diner eating chinese food with my parents on a saturday night (yes i know, lame) and on the car ride home i have a thought about ho-bag and her fucking her brains out with whatever the lunch lady's name is...

that put me in a good mood. hobag having lesbionic sex (walking down the street, "hey you're hot!) and getting magically pregnant and getting fat has its own special way of making me very happy :)

talking to em online. she digs my new colors. she would have to, theyre super groovy. we're doing the making strides walk for breast cancer tomorrow... should be fun, except im lazy and dont like moving. could be a problem. 5 miles isnt bad. but i dont care because at the moment ho bag is pregnant (and extremely fat, which works for her, let me tell you!)

i think i am going to try once again to put a cool picture on my live journal profile... im way to dumb for this. then i'll do math hw, which is oh so fun. bye, i need chocolate.

what do you do if you have to go loo in an english country garden?
i have not the slightest idea but i will sleep on it (let me sleep on it... baby baby, let me sleep on it)
but i think considering i am loo, that might hurt me a bit and i dont want to be in an english country garden. im going to sleep, yo.

l8r dudes... out

im at kim's and emily was here, except she just left. as soon as she left i said to kim "i feel like were parents, and our child just left us to have sex" as me and kim ran up to her bedroom, thinking only of our poons going x!

more later when im home... btw i smell like pretzels and im about to go bulemic... ate way too much popcorn and brownies, although i had to resist the chocolate peanut butter